Coming to Japan was something I never thought possible. There was a time when I had wanted to go to Japan, but various difficulties forced me to give up that dream. Then, perhaps thanks to God, the path to fulfilling my dream opened up again, and I was finally able to come to Japan.
When I was in my country, one worry after another arose, and I felt helpless. I lived with my mother, and she always took care of me. How could I, who had always relied on her, live alone? How could I, who had never cooked and always left meals to my mother, prepare food? And when I was separated from my son, who always helped during festivals, could my mother manage all the preparations alone? Above all, my biggest worry was who would help my mother if something bad happened to her. Of course, my sister and relatives would help, but since they didn’t live together, I doubted they could come quickly. That worry still lingers in me as an unresolved anxiety.
I once discussed this anxiety with my mother, but she reassured me, saying, ‘It will be alright.’ So, believing in my mother’s words, I gathered courage and came to Japan. Then my life as an exchange student began.
It’s been a year and a half since I started living in Japan. The first year turned out to be a terrible one. A dreadful virus called COVID-19 spread not only in Japan but all over the world, and I had to spend most of my life in Japan indoors. Except for work and school, I couldn’t go out. I occasionally went out with friends but couldn’t travel far.
The second year became a repetition of the same thing. I was constantly fighting against the virus. During that fight, I felt incredibly bored and gradually lost motivation. But in those times, I remembered my mother at home. Thinking of her gave me the strength to keep going.
Since coming to Japan, I have learned a lot. I have gained many life-enriching experiences. But now I have to think about how to use those experiences and where to apply them. Should I use them in Japan? Or should I return to Indonesia and use them there? I plan to carefully consider and decide before I graduate.
This is a concern I never had before.