Have you ever felt compelled to make a choice? For example, thinking, “My current job doesn’t suit me, it’s boring doing the same thing every day. But the pay is good, and it provides a stable life… I think about quitting, but it’s hard to leave.” Or, “I’m not entirely lacking the desire to marry my long-term girlfriend, but I lose motivation when I think about married life.” Or, “There’s an exam tomorrow, but I’ve been invited to a party by my best friend. I intend not to go, but since it’s my best friend, I might end up going.” There are countless such scenarios. Choosing between two options can be really difficult. If you make the right choice, it’s very fortunate. On the other hand, if you make the wrong choice, it’s easy to imagine people blaming themselves, thinking, “I should have done this back then, why didn’t I?” This is where regret originates.

A scholar defined regret as “a negative emotion felt when imagining that a different decision might have led to a better current situation.” It’s common for people to have one or two things in life they regret. Many people, as they age, think, “I should have studied more during my student days.” They regret not doing what they should have.

Conversely, there are also those who regret doing what they shouldn’t have. Imagine someone who, over a trivial matter, ends up in a big fight with a friend they’ve known for decades, resulting in violence, and eventually, they become strangers to each other. If asked if they regret it, both would likely say yes. Regret from not doing something and regret from doing something are both sources of regret. However, I’ve heard that the former is felt more strongly than the latter. But for me, both types of regret are the same.

This is because I’ve experienced both “regret for not doing” and “regret for doing.” The former was not thinking carefully and not choosing the university I really wanted to attend. The latter was not studying seriously and eventually dropping out of university. Even now, I deeply regret these decisions every time I think about them.

However, since miracles don’t happen and we can’t go back to the past, worrying about what’s done and regretting it won’t change anything. Therefore, before doing anything, it’s most important to think carefully about whether to do it or not, and then decide whether to continue or give up. Even if what you decide doesn’t turn out as expected, it’s better not to lament about what you should have (or shouldn’t have) done, but to gracefully accept your mistakes and ensure not to repeat them. After many failures, I’ve come to deeply understand this.

Thus, I now strive to live a life without regrets, not dwelling on past failures. Instead of being dragged down by past failures, I believe it’s better to use them as nourishment and work towards the future. I encourage everyone to strive to live without regrets.